NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Seven

January 7th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Seven

If you celebrate Orthodox Christmas then Merry Christmas today.  

Yesterday I focused on number two on the list of eight things to quit in the new year. Today I’ll be focusing on item three. 

The third thing on the list is ‘living in the past’.

Often many keep living in the past. They bring up things that occurred in the past over and over and over again.  They don’t like the fact things have changed or accept the fact. They relive the days gone by with the same stories time and again like a broken record. Reminiscing is fine but not when it becomes an obsession.  Perhaps you had a bad break up with someone and can not overcome this event. You rethink every moment of the relationship constantly. You still go to the same places you once did; do some of the same things.  You are afraid to move on in life; but you need to do so. If it’s a restaurant you’ve always went to, go somewhere new.  Don’t keep doing the same thing time and time again because it’s how you always done it; change it up a bit. 

Today’s item on the list, in a way, can go hand in hand with yesterday’s item which was fearing change.  We focus on things that were in our past lives and do not look to the future.  Again the relationship that once was; you think how it was wonderful.  You look for the same type of relationship to redo what you’ve done before. But remember if that past relationship was so wonderful you’d still be together.  You can not expect things to stay the same.  Let go of the past; look ahead. After a while you’ll find family and friends get tired of hearing the same old stories about how great things were.  Sometimes they don’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you they are not interested in hearing the same thing over again.  Look for the signs they want you to move ahead.  If they try to change the subject; or remember they have someplace to be or something they forgot to do. An example is a guy I know relives stories about holidays past.  He says things aren’t the same without his spouse. He can not see enjoying them.  People have politely suggested to him to take baby steps to move forward.  So far it has fallen on deaf ears.  He just repeats the stories on how it was before. Hopefully he’ll read this but then perhaps not.  Those that know him only hope he travels forward. There is a saying I heard that to live in past is to die in present. I looked this up and found it was said by a popular professional football team coach.  He is correct; as if you keep living in the past you are not living now in the present day. You are stuck there with nothing on which to look ahead.  Doing so you just may miss out on all the good things that surround you.  As I said in the beginning it’s nice to reminisce on the past but don’t get stuck there.  No one can predict their future.  Another saying is that yesterday is the past; tomorrow the future; today is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present. See each day as a gift and live for each and everyday.  Leave the past behind you.  You may be surprised on what you will find.  Take those baby steps I mentioned in doing so. 

Until tomorrow....think of item two and today’s item as one thing together. Have a terrific Tuesday. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Six

January 6th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Six

Yesterday I focused on number one on the list of eight things to quit in the new year. Today I’ll be focusing on item two. 

The second thing on the list is ‘fearing change’.  

Are you a person who likes things to stay status quo?  Are a person who feels ‘if ain’t  broken, don’t fix it’?  Do you dislike changes?  Do you feel skeptical about changes?  Many of us do at one time or another.  

For years I would be apprehensive about new procedures with jobs.  New ways to do things. I wondered if could I learn them quickly. Perform the job at hand. I’ve always been a person who needed to do a job hands on instead of being taught.  Show me what to do, explain the process while doing so, then let me give it a try.  Reading instructions was and is always something I do not care to do.  I want to do it; best way I’ve learned to do many things. 

Recently I downloaded the Photoshop app to my phone.  I read the instructions on how to create but decided to just do it by trial and error. Yes at first I was a tad afraid I’d do something wrong but I kept positive.  I’m still in a learning process after few months but trial and error has been helpful. 

Many have fear of being alone and will stay in a relationship though we should not.  What is the worse thing for you? Staying involved in a toxic relationship that may cause you mental and physical harm; or having a fear you’ll be alone but better off? 

Change is a way of growth. Change is a challenge.  Change can sometimes make some tasks easier also.  This past year I was apprehensive on the way my trash was collected.  I liked the thought I could put out my own trash container or use trash bags placed in front of my residence.  Our town then decided all residents would be issued receptacles to place out on the designated day; which was also changed. We were given a recycling container also. I wondered if the container would be big enough and what if I had more items than it could hold. I decided not to let it stress me out. I just went with the flow.  I like the convenience of rolling the receptacle out to the front and roll it back after the trash collected. I don’t have to carry heavy bags to the collection area. 

One way to beat fear.  Just sit back, ponder why you’re afraid of the change, take a deep breath then just accept it.  Go with the flow. Don’t be afraid of change. Change is good.  It keeps you on your toes so you don’t become complacent.  This year let your fears go.  Think of them as a balloon filled with helium; release the balloon so it goes up and away disappearing from you forever.  You never know, something good may come from the change. For me it sound contrite, but changing trash pick-up day and method has made it easier for me.  

Until tomorrow....it’s Monday the beginning of a new week and perhaps a new you.  

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Five

January 5th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Five

Yesterday I wrote about eight things that to quit this year.  It came from something I read on social media.  I mentioned I’d take the next eight days to focus one of them one each day.  The first thing on the list was ‘trying to please everyone’.  

Why is it we want to make sure everyone is pleased with us?  Is it because we want them to love or like us?  Do we want to please them so they are happy?  Do we try to please everyone to make ourself feel better?  Do we actually feel better when we try hard as we can to please everyone? Will they like us less if we don’t try hard to make them happy? 

These questions tumble around in my mind at the moment like clothes in a dryer.  I wonder if people expect too much from me.  Over the years I have tried to make everyone happy.  I’d go out if my way to do nice things.  I’ve kept a civil tongue when I know I shouldn’t.  All in all it seems trying to please everyone was a chore.  It was not the real me and I seemed to let people walk all over me in the long run.  I went out of my for years as not to offend anyone; not let them down when they needed something; and at times I had been giving up on my own plans to accommodate others.  I realized that I was being a doormat trying to please everyone.  I put others first and myself second.  Never did I receive the same from them.  This year it’s all going to change. I’m going to be myself.  There’s a song with the words that say something about if you can’t please everyone then you got to please yourself. Well it’s hard to please everyone all the time.  You need to put yourself first.  If you aren’t pleased, then how can you please others.  This year I’m putting my foot down. I am putting myself and family first. Everyone will be second.  If I can be there when needed yes I’ll be there. No more rearranging my life for others who never did the same for me. You’ll find trying not to please everyone will show you just who your real friends are.  Don’t hide your true self.  Don’t bite your tongue.  Let the real you show.  Think about those (if any) who went out of their way to please you time and time again. 

Yes, I did it already.  I refused to change already made plans because of someone thought their needs more important.  This was not a life and death issue for them. Anyone could have helped them out.  I was asked because I always been there when they asked.  We’re they pleased with my answer of NO; of course not.  I felt like a weight was taken off me.  Now I need to continue my not trying to be a pleaser to the masses.  This does not mean I won’t be available when someone needs me but I will review their request first; weigh options; see if I am available at the moment. If it’s a dire situation yes I’ll go out of my way.  

Think about your own situations and how you tried hard to please everyone.  Make this one of your goals to quit trying to please everyone and see if you aren’t a bit more happier. 

Until tomorrow....have a wonderful Sunday. 

NEW BEGINNINGS.... Day Four

January 4th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’....Day 4

I’ve survived the first three days of the new year so far.  I decided on the following for this year.  This is something I saw on social media and decided it would be a good goal or set of intentions for me.  Perhaps you have seen it too. 

Here’s what my added aspirations are:

It’s call EIGHT THINGS to QUIT in 2020

1. TRYING to PLEASE EVERYONE 
2. FEARING CHANGE 
3. LIVING in the PAST
4. OVERTHINKING 
5. BEING AFRAID to BE DIFFERENT 
6. SACRIFICING YOUR HAPPINESS FOR OTHERS 
7. THINKING YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH 
8. THINKING YOU HAVE NO PURPOSE 

Beginning tomorrow I plan to focus on each of these.  Tomorrow I’ll blog about number one. These are good things to which to aspire. I must admit I’ve been guilty of each one during the past year. Do any of these relate to you?  Are you guilty of any?  Think about it over the next eight days.  Take one item per day and concentrate on what it means to you. In the meantime I’m sure that I’ll end up with a few more inspirations to try to aspire.  Again my journal entry yesterday included what was happening around me.  My thoughts about people I saw and events happen for the day.  I think I’m using this journal as a reminder of happenings for each day.  Now that’s not really a bad thing. Right now I will keep doing the same.  No doubt eventually it’ll become a means for writing ideas and other things. Few years ago I glued cute cards I received in one of my journals and wrote about books I read.  A journal is like a journey of your life I think.  A log of what is going on at the time; notes for perhaps a future memoir.  If you decided on keeping a journal think about what is means for you.  

Remember tomorrow it’s day one of the eight things one should quit this year. 

Until tomorrow...make it a good day. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Three

January 3rd....’NEW BEGINNINGS’ Day 3

This week I’m focusing on new beginnings for a new year. We are into day three.  One thing I have a hard time with is when Christmas and New Years fall in the middle of the week.  My days get really messed up.  I like holidays falling on a weekend or a Monday or Friday.  But, that is just my personal preference.  I get mixed up with what day it is when holidays fall in middle of the week. Even having a calendar hanging on the wall does not help.  I’m glad I have calendar on my phone; it gives day of the week and date.  Few days ago I was talking with guy at the veterans club. He asked what the day of the week was.  I laughed as I saw he had a cell phone and mentioned it should be listed on the phone in an app.  Would you believe he never thought to look at it. This was the same day I overheard people discussing their goals for the coming year.  Many decided it’s not worth even trying. Try is all I can say to you.  Try, fail, then try again.  

 As for my keeping my goals, yes I made sure to journal yesterday. I had it in my purse when I went to brief meeting. As I waited for individual I was to see, I pulled it out and began to write.  This time I listed where I had lunch and what I did after.  Well I guess I want to keep track of is when I give a surprise to people.  Yesterday I surprised an acquaintance with a tasty treat.  I feel like I’m continuing my acts of spreading holiday cheer right now.  There is no reason why we should not continue to keep doing acts of kindness all year.  We don’t have to do something, but at least every now an act is good.  Yes another goal I plan to achieve; at least one act of spreading cheer every week.   

Let’s hope that you have not fallen off the goal wagon by day three.  After posting this I guess it’ll be time to pull out the journal.  My husband gives me till the months end to begin skipping days of journaling.  I’d make a bet but afraid to do so.  I’m not really a gambler.  

Until next time....enjoy your first Friday in January and first Friday of the new year. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Two

January 2....’NEW BEGINNINGS’

Yesterday was the first day of the new year. The day which we begin our goals and good intentions for the year.  I began my goal for the year, at least one of them.  I began my 2020 journal.  I sat there pen poised and just let the words flow. What I did was document New Years Eve.  The reason I did so was to remember a few highlights for December thirty-first this year. I plan to compare them at years end or first of January 2021 what I did December 31, 2019 and December 31, 2020.  

Many I heard on New Years Eve discussed their goals for the year. A few I overheard say there is no reason to make intentions or goals for the year as they never see them through.  Perhaps that is a way for some to look at things; perhaps it’s a cop out.  My thought is to at least give it a try.  What does it hurt? As I sat writing in my journal yesterday I found another aspiration.  It seems I type more than write with pen or pencil these days. My handwriting, which was very good at one time, is a disaster these days.  By writing everyday I feel it will improve my skills.  I can only hope that is does.  Odd that by doing something so simple that I find another goal for the year.  

An idea for you to do this year is to compare one New Year’s Eve with the next; write down what you did for 2019.  Then on December 31, 2020, review it.  See if you are planning the same things or going with something new.  This could work for any holiday this year or even your birthday.  The idea sort of fell in my lap on New Year’s Eve while at an early afternoon celebration.  Myself and two other individuals were discussing the previous years December thirty-first only to find we could not remember much. I mentioned I would remember New Year’s Eve 2019 by writing about it in my journal. No doubt this person thought it was just me blowing hot air. I need to tell them, next time we meet, I wrote down highlights of the day. 

Hope your first two days in 2020 have been good to you.  There is only three hundred sixty-four remaining. 

Until next time....keep working on your goals for the year. If you find you need to make adjustments do so. 

NEW BEGINNINGS...Day One

January 1st....’NEW BEGINNINGS’

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So another year and decade begins on the coattails of the old.  Many are waking up from celebrating yesterday; many just see this as another day.  I see the first day of the year as three-hundred and sixty-five new opportunities in life. Well this year it will be three-hundred and sixty-six as this is a leap year.  Today I plan to make my list of goals I hope to achieve.  I’m making a declaration about what I intend to accomplish if possible.  My declaration stated I will keep trying over and over if I fail in my goals.  I will not abandon them if I tend to break one of my aspirations.  At the end of this year I will look back and hopefully feel satisfied with what I’ve done. One of my goals is to blog more for 2020.  There have been months I’ve not done so. Even if I just post a poem or few lines, this is one goal I want to achieve.  Another intention is to keep my journal but make sure I have it in my purse each day so no matter where I might be, I can take it out and write in it.  I am determined this year if I skip a day or two, just to pick it up and continue.  I have a few other aspirations also for the new year.  

Today is your opportunity to make any changes in your life.  A new year, new chances and new changes.  Make this the best year possible. 

Until next time....have a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. 

       HAPPY NEW YEAR 

    © Scottie-ann Murphy

How fast the year has come to an end

  Again we wonder, where did the time go?

     Past twelve months sped by quickly

        Pondering at years end, we recall all    

             we had done 

          Yet we wonder....were all our goals 

                accomplished?

Now another year will begin again....another 

              chance

    Each of us makes goals for the next  

               twelve months

          Will we follow them through from 

                   beginning to end?  

Year after year....good intentions by us are 

               made 

     Each objective....carefully thought 

             through

         A promise made to our own self, no   

                   one else

             Resolution made this New Year’s 

                     Day....will we keep?