NEW BEGINNINGS.... Day Eleven

January 11th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’ 

          Day Eleven

We are now up to item seven on the list of eight things to quit this year.  This item is to quit thinking you are not good enough.  We all, at one time or another, feel that we just aren’t good enough.  It can be that we feel we are not good enough in our job; in a relationship; in a volunteer job we have or even a hobby we’d like to pursue; sport or just about anything.  Example is that an opportunity to move up into a higher job position; but feel we may not be good enough to do the job.  Afraid we won’t be a good candidate for the position we don’t even try.  In a relationship it could be that we don’t feel as if we are good enough to be with that person.  We find fault within ourself.  Even with family we tend to wonder if we are doing a good enough job as a wife, husband, parent etc.  Perhaps we are in an organization where volunteering is something we do. We feel we aren’t doing enough or what we do is not good enough. 

It’s an endless concern many have. 

We judge ourselves by how we see others around us. Giving into peer pressure on 

the way we should dress, look, act and say. We are not true to ourselves.  If we try to do something new and things don’t go as it should, we picture we are a failure.  That’s not the case.  You need to keep on doing the best you can.  Never think you aren’t good enough; think positive.  

Until tomorrow....one more item to quit. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Ten

January 10th...’NEW BEGINNINGS....

      Day Ten

Are you happy?  Do you feel happiness inside of you?  Are you a person trying hard to please  everyone?  Are you sacrificing your happiness for others? The fifth item on the list of eight things to quit this year is to quit sacrificing your happiness for others.  This item and item number one I feel goes together hand in hand. We all try hard to please others. Sometimes by doing so we are not happy ourself.  We may give up something for someone to make sure they are content.  But when we do so, how does this make us feel?  We all do things that we may not really want at times and we go out of our way to help another.  We put plans on hold or cancel our plans because someone needs us.  They know that you will always be there whenever they call and that you will drop whatever you’re doing or have planned to be there for them.  There are other people that you know these people can call, but they know you can’t or won’t say no.  You feel you need to be there.  Yes at times it’s important to drop what you’re doing to rush to the aid of a family member as family should come first; or run to the aid of a friend.  These should be emergency situations  and you should be there.  Times people will want something from you that is not a dire situation.  They ask for help. You tell them you have other plans or things to do. They make you feel guilty with words of plea that no one else can be there. That’s where you are sacrificing your own well being for them.  You are a martyr who seems to be giving up your own happiness for others.  Take time for yourself this year.  Become a bit unavailable.  You’ll find in the long run you will feel more relaxed and happy. 

Until tomorrow....enjoy your Friday. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Nine

January 9th...‘NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Nine

Today’s item on the eight list of things to quit this year is ‘Being Afraid to be Different’.  Everyone is unique.  No two people are alike.  Why be a copy of someone else? I am different from many people I know. I sport my own style. One thing I don’t do is go with whatever the current fashion trend happens to currently be.  I wear what I feel most comfortable wearing; whether it be dressy or casual.  I create my own style and fashion. If no one likes it TOO BAD.  It is the same with how I think and act.  Going with the way everyone around me thinks is not always for me.  My opinion or view may be different and I speak my mind.  Many are afraid to do so.  They feel if they are different from the masses, they won’t be liked or accepted. They are afraid no one will like them for who they really are. You are only hiding your true self when you don’t act the way you really feel.  It’s only an mask put on to please others.  No one really gets to know the real you when you are afraid of being different; they only see someone playing out a part.  This year go ahead be yourself; dare to be the person you really are.  Quit being afraid to be different.  It can give you a new outlook as well as relieve stress of hiding your true person. 

Until tomorrow....be true to yourself. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Eight

January 8th....‘NEW BEGINNINGS’...

             Day Eight

So far I have focused on items one, two and three in our eight things to quit this year list.  So far I discussed quitting trying to please everyone; quit fearing change and quit living in the past.  Today is item four; quit overthinking.  I have been guilt of this more times than not.  I stress out about stuff that is trivial.  What I do, as sure as many others, see a situation; then think about solution over and over.  I go through many scenarios as to what to do and each I feel is not the right one. So I keep on and on with getting myself worked up because I am uncertain what is the best scenario.   Instead of just taking the result I come up first, I think and think about if I’m making the right decision.  This overthinking has kept me up nights and caused anxiety.  It has at times caused me to have feelings of depression.  Instead of just doing what needs to be done many will keep thinking it over and over.  It’s like a top spinning in your mind.  Negative results from when we over think a situation can cause stress and other problems.  Instead of overthinking a situation or problem just jump in and handle it.  After you’ve done so there is no need to worry if you made the best decision because in most instances you’ve already took care of the problem and can not change it in most instances. 

Perhaps talking it over with another person could be helpful to you.  But remember don’t let them overwhelm your mind with worry.  Don’t let overthinking stress you out.  You’ll be happy in the long run. 

Until tomorrow....it’s Hump Day. One week ago we celebrated the first day of the New Year.  Time seems to be flying. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Seven

January 7th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Seven

If you celebrate Orthodox Christmas then Merry Christmas today.  

Yesterday I focused on number two on the list of eight things to quit in the new year. Today I’ll be focusing on item three. 

The third thing on the list is ‘living in the past’.

Often many keep living in the past. They bring up things that occurred in the past over and over and over again.  They don’t like the fact things have changed or accept the fact. They relive the days gone by with the same stories time and again like a broken record. Reminiscing is fine but not when it becomes an obsession.  Perhaps you had a bad break up with someone and can not overcome this event. You rethink every moment of the relationship constantly. You still go to the same places you once did; do some of the same things.  You are afraid to move on in life; but you need to do so. If it’s a restaurant you’ve always went to, go somewhere new.  Don’t keep doing the same thing time and time again because it’s how you always done it; change it up a bit. 

Today’s item on the list, in a way, can go hand in hand with yesterday’s item which was fearing change.  We focus on things that were in our past lives and do not look to the future.  Again the relationship that once was; you think how it was wonderful.  You look for the same type of relationship to redo what you’ve done before. But remember if that past relationship was so wonderful you’d still be together.  You can not expect things to stay the same.  Let go of the past; look ahead. After a while you’ll find family and friends get tired of hearing the same old stories about how great things were.  Sometimes they don’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you they are not interested in hearing the same thing over again.  Look for the signs they want you to move ahead.  If they try to change the subject; or remember they have someplace to be or something they forgot to do. An example is a guy I know relives stories about holidays past.  He says things aren’t the same without his spouse. He can not see enjoying them.  People have politely suggested to him to take baby steps to move forward.  So far it has fallen on deaf ears.  He just repeats the stories on how it was before. Hopefully he’ll read this but then perhaps not.  Those that know him only hope he travels forward. There is a saying I heard that to live in past is to die in present. I looked this up and found it was said by a popular professional football team coach.  He is correct; as if you keep living in the past you are not living now in the present day. You are stuck there with nothing on which to look ahead.  Doing so you just may miss out on all the good things that surround you.  As I said in the beginning it’s nice to reminisce on the past but don’t get stuck there.  No one can predict their future.  Another saying is that yesterday is the past; tomorrow the future; today is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present. See each day as a gift and live for each and everyday.  Leave the past behind you.  You may be surprised on what you will find.  Take those baby steps I mentioned in doing so. 

Until tomorrow....think of item two and today’s item as one thing together. Have a terrific Tuesday. 

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Six

January 6th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Six

Yesterday I focused on number one on the list of eight things to quit in the new year. Today I’ll be focusing on item two. 

The second thing on the list is ‘fearing change’.  

Are you a person who likes things to stay status quo?  Are a person who feels ‘if ain’t  broken, don’t fix it’?  Do you dislike changes?  Do you feel skeptical about changes?  Many of us do at one time or another.  

For years I would be apprehensive about new procedures with jobs.  New ways to do things. I wondered if could I learn them quickly. Perform the job at hand. I’ve always been a person who needed to do a job hands on instead of being taught.  Show me what to do, explain the process while doing so, then let me give it a try.  Reading instructions was and is always something I do not care to do.  I want to do it; best way I’ve learned to do many things. 

Recently I downloaded the Photoshop app to my phone.  I read the instructions on how to create but decided to just do it by trial and error. Yes at first I was a tad afraid I’d do something wrong but I kept positive.  I’m still in a learning process after few months but trial and error has been helpful. 

Many have fear of being alone and will stay in a relationship though we should not.  What is the worse thing for you? Staying involved in a toxic relationship that may cause you mental and physical harm; or having a fear you’ll be alone but better off? 

Change is a way of growth. Change is a challenge.  Change can sometimes make some tasks easier also.  This past year I was apprehensive on the way my trash was collected.  I liked the thought I could put out my own trash container or use trash bags placed in front of my residence.  Our town then decided all residents would be issued receptacles to place out on the designated day; which was also changed. We were given a recycling container also. I wondered if the container would be big enough and what if I had more items than it could hold. I decided not to let it stress me out. I just went with the flow.  I like the convenience of rolling the receptacle out to the front and roll it back after the trash collected. I don’t have to carry heavy bags to the collection area. 

One way to beat fear.  Just sit back, ponder why you’re afraid of the change, take a deep breath then just accept it.  Go with the flow. Don’t be afraid of change. Change is good.  It keeps you on your toes so you don’t become complacent.  This year let your fears go.  Think of them as a balloon filled with helium; release the balloon so it goes up and away disappearing from you forever.  You never know, something good may come from the change. For me it sound contrite, but changing trash pick-up day and method has made it easier for me.  

Until tomorrow....it’s Monday the beginning of a new week and perhaps a new you.  

NEW BEGINNINGS....Day Five

January 5th....’NEW BEGINNINGS’...Day Five

Yesterday I wrote about eight things that to quit this year.  It came from something I read on social media.  I mentioned I’d take the next eight days to focus one of them one each day.  The first thing on the list was ‘trying to please everyone’.  

Why is it we want to make sure everyone is pleased with us?  Is it because we want them to love or like us?  Do we want to please them so they are happy?  Do we try to please everyone to make ourself feel better?  Do we actually feel better when we try hard as we can to please everyone? Will they like us less if we don’t try hard to make them happy? 

These questions tumble around in my mind at the moment like clothes in a dryer.  I wonder if people expect too much from me.  Over the years I have tried to make everyone happy.  I’d go out if my way to do nice things.  I’ve kept a civil tongue when I know I shouldn’t.  All in all it seems trying to please everyone was a chore.  It was not the real me and I seemed to let people walk all over me in the long run.  I went out of my for years as not to offend anyone; not let them down when they needed something; and at times I had been giving up on my own plans to accommodate others.  I realized that I was being a doormat trying to please everyone.  I put others first and myself second.  Never did I receive the same from them.  This year it’s all going to change. I’m going to be myself.  There’s a song with the words that say something about if you can’t please everyone then you got to please yourself. Well it’s hard to please everyone all the time.  You need to put yourself first.  If you aren’t pleased, then how can you please others.  This year I’m putting my foot down. I am putting myself and family first. Everyone will be second.  If I can be there when needed yes I’ll be there. No more rearranging my life for others who never did the same for me. You’ll find trying not to please everyone will show you just who your real friends are.  Don’t hide your true self.  Don’t bite your tongue.  Let the real you show.  Think about those (if any) who went out of their way to please you time and time again. 

Yes, I did it already.  I refused to change already made plans because of someone thought their needs more important.  This was not a life and death issue for them. Anyone could have helped them out.  I was asked because I always been there when they asked.  We’re they pleased with my answer of NO; of course not.  I felt like a weight was taken off me.  Now I need to continue my not trying to be a pleaser to the masses.  This does not mean I won’t be available when someone needs me but I will review their request first; weigh options; see if I am available at the moment. If it’s a dire situation yes I’ll go out of my way.  

Think about your own situations and how you tried hard to please everyone.  Make this one of your goals to quit trying to please everyone and see if you aren’t a bit more happier. 

Until tomorrow....have a wonderful Sunday.